I don’t like talking about this. 

It feels like bragging. 

I’d much rather let someone else share the good news while I nod, smile, say thank you, and we all move on.

How do you tell people you won an award (or, um, two) without it sounding cocky or prideful?

I don’t know.

Covert Justice won the 2016 Carol Award for Short Novel and a few months ago it won the 2016 Selah Award for Mystery and Suspense.

Why was that so hard to say? It’s ridiculous really. Especially since my #1 love language is Words of Affirmation. I crave approval the way a kid craves sugar. But even when other people talk about it, it makes me uncomfortable. I appreciate it, but I don’t know what do with it. 

So I’ve been talking to my heavenly Father about it. About why He’s chosen to give me such lovely affirmations and about why I’m simultaneously ecstatic and embarrassed by them.

I don’t have a definitive answer. I may never get one. But this weekend, I got a glimpse, a snippet, a clue into what’s going on. 

Turns out, I’m just like Gideon. 

Two fleeces. Two awards.

Gulp.

You know the story, right? God calls Gideon to a work he doesn’t think he can do, so Gideon asks God to prove it. To prove to Gideon that all of this hasn’t been in his imagination and that He will be with him in battle. Instead of God turning Gideon into a little pile of Gideon dust, God agrees to the test! One night, the fleece is wet and the ground is dry, and still Gideon doesn’t quite believe. The next night, the fleece is dry and the ground is wet. Boom.

I didn’t ask God for a fleece, but I might as well have. He knows my heart. Knows my fears and insecurities. 

Now, I have to wonder if when I sit down to write a new story and am overcome with panic that someone’s going to figure out that I.AM.A.FRAUD.—does God want to grab my face in His holy hands and turn it around until I see those two awards sitting on the mantle? The two awards for a book that I didn’t think I could write. For a book that His fingerprints are all over. For a book that has opened up opportunities for me that I never could have imagined.

Is He waiting for me to finally believe?

Not to believe that I can do anything, but that He can do everything. 

Not to think that I have any reason to boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, but to understand that I have every reason to shout from the rooftops how awesome He is, and to cheerfully and with a peaceful heart move forward into the battle He’s calling me to fight. 

Is He wondering just how much He is going to have to do to convince me?

I wish I could tell you that this realization has left me raring to charge into the fray. That my fingers are twitching with the possibilities. That I’m thrilled to find out how God is going to show up in this next chapter.

But the truth is, I’m still afraid. 

My mouth is dry, my chest is tight. My fear of failure is off the charts.

So I do what I always do. I try to figure it out. I work myself half to death this week and I get caught up. I get caught up on the laundry, the housework, the bills, the school schedule.

And I kid you not…five minutes after I think, “Okay. I’m going to survive this. This is going to work,” I get an email that sends me right back into panic mode.

It’s a good email. A positive one. But it contains marching orders. There’s more to do.

And once more, I wonder why God picked me for this and then I think about Gideon. He figured it out. He gathered his army—and God sent most of them home. We all know why—so no one would ever be able to say he’d won in his own strength. The battle is the Lord’s. He will win it. And anyone watching, anyone listening to the story as it’s told later, will have no choice but to say, “God did that.”

So this is where I am. 

I’m marching into battle armed with a few words and a few ideas and a whole lot of questions. I am terrified, but I know that anything good that has ever happened or ever will happen is because of Him. I am clinging to these words from Thessalonians… “He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it.” 

If you want to know how you can best support my writing, pray that I will stay close to Jesus and that I will rely on Him to do what only He can.

He’s amazing and when I’m not hyperventilating, I really am excited to see what He’s going to do next.

Thank you for joining me on this wild adventure with Christ.

Grace and peace,

Lynn

It’s that time again. August was a wild ride and the stuff I learned this month? 

Pretty random. 

Here goes.

1. The Olympics are my favorite. Oh my word. I get lost in the backstories of the athletes, the drama of the competition, the rivalries. Love me some rivalries. You have medals? I want you to win more. You don’t have medals? I want you to finally win one! 
I will cheer for the USA as long as we are in the fight, and if we aren’t, I’ll pick some other country to cheer for. And my reasons for choosing are as logical as wanting to see the home country win or as random as having issues with the color of someone’s uniform. I love it. I stay up late to watch even though I know I could Google it to find out who won. But where’s the fun in that?! I know some people who just don’t care about the Olympics, but I am not one of those people. 

2. The InstantPot rocks. I got mine a few weeks ago when they lowered the price on Amazon Prime day. I’m still figuring it out, but I love it. Boiled eggs – perfection. They peeled so easily, I might actually be able to make some pretty deviled eggs now. Roasts in 70 minutes. Frozen chicken breasts become shredded chicken in under 30 minutes. I have dreams of meal planning and always being prepared when dinner time rolls around but I have yet to see them come true. The InstantPot is a lifesaver for someone like me

3. Lularoe for the win. Have you heard of this stuff? Leggings that are as soft as butter. Shirts that actually hang down long enough to cover your rear when you are wearing those leggings because—say it with me—LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. My sister got me hooked on LLR and I now own several (cough, cough) pairs of leggings and a few (or, you know, 6) shirts. They are so comfortable. Seriously the most perfect outfit for a homeschooling, writer mom who needs to be able to run outside and throw the football one minute and then snuggle up with her laptop in the next. These are actual clothes—and they look like clothes—but they are as comfy as pajamas. What more could a girl want?

4. Always travel with $1 bills. Let me explain. I rarely have cash. When I do, it’s because I just hit an ATM. So I have $20s. $20s work just fine until you need some smaller bills. Say to tip the bellman at the fancy hotel you just showed up in. But you only have $20s. And he’s nice and friendly and he got your key card to work for you but $20? I’m generally a big tipper, but I can’t go $20. So instead you turn as red as your laptop cover and mumble how you don’t have anything to tip him with but could you please get his name and hunt him down later? And you can tell he totally doesn’t believe you will, and then you spend the next 3 days trying to locate him in the lobby of the hotel. Lesson learned. Keep some $1s and $5s handy. 

BTW—I found him. His name was Kevin and he was awesome and I was right. He didn’t believe me. We ended up having a lovely chat and he told me people say that all the time and then never follow through. So if you don’t heed my advice and fail to have small bills handy, promise the bellman a tip and then make good. It just might open up an opportunity to share a teensy bit of the Gospel with him and who knows what God might do with that? 

Me with Lynette Eason after the Carol Awards!

5. Listen to your mentors. Someday I’m going to talk more about this, but for now, here’s what I’ve learned. If God has been gracious to you and put mentors in your life, when they tell you you “must” do something? You should probably do it. I’m not going to say always, because humans are fallible and it’s possible they could be wrong. But if you have two mentors who gang up on you and INSIST you take a certain course of action? Yeah. Probably better just say, “Yes, ma’am” and do it. 

The screen shot that left me stunned.

In my case, two of my mentors (Lynette Eason and Edie Melson) ganged up on me last March and insisted I enter a couple of contests. Contests I had NO PLANS to enter. None. I said things like, “It’s a waste of time and money for me to enter.” They refused to listen. And now they walk around with big heads saying, “I told you so.”  

Me with Edie at the ACFW Gala.

6. Sometimes obedience is fun. Edie shared that little nugget with me a few weeks ago when I was being all angsty about winning awards. Recognition and awards are awesome. Really and truly awesome. But I struggle with it. I don’t want to be prideful—and I know how fast my sinful heart can go there. But I also don’t want to be ungrateful. As another dear friend (and frequent deliverer of spiritual Gibbs’ slaps), Lori Roeleveld reminded me, these awards are gifts from God. Gifts from my very good Father. And as a parent, how would I feel if I gave my children a gift and they said, “It’s nice, but I didn’t really want it?” So I’m trying to stay close to Jesus and enjoy the gifts He’s giving. And trying to remember that while sometimes God does ask us to do hard things, sometimes, obedience is fun. 

So what about you? Did you discover something awesome in August? Share it with us in the comments!

In late August, I’m headed to my very first ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) Conference. I am so excited! 

Laurie Tomlinson is hosting a super fun “mix and mingle” link up on her website for conference attendees to get to know each other prior to the big event. The rules are simple…you answer the questions she has listed and then link your post on her blog. 

So here goes…

Name: Lynn Blackburn (I write as Lynn Huggins Blackburn, but that is a mouthful).

Location: Simpsonville, SC

What you write/tagline/trademark: Romantic Suspense

Place in the book world: My debut novel, Covert Justice, is a Carol finalist in the Short Novel category! I’m represented by the fabulous Tamela Hancock Murray of the Steve Laube Agency. 

On a scale of hugger to 10-foot-pole, please rate your personal space: Did you see my maiden name? I’m all for the hugs.  

Something VERY serious: How do you take your Starbucks? During the summer, I’ll take it iced. Cream only. I love the Flat White anytime, but at Christmas I’m all about the Chestnut Praline Latte. Decaf. 

The unique talking points that will get you going for hours: Clemson Tigers football, Bullet Journals, Homeschooling, Special Needs parenting, Hamilton, NCIS.

Loved ones at home you’ll be missing: My husband, 13-year-old daughter, almost 8-year-old son, and 5(and a half!)-year-old son. 

Conference goals we can pray for? I’m mostly coming to learn and network, but I will also be pitching a new romantic suspense series. 

Anything we can celebrate with you? My debut novel won the Selah Award (Mystery/Suspense category) at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and I’m still hyperventilating!

One or two ways we can help you build your platform? You can follow me on Twitter and sign up for my newsletter here!

I really enjoy taking a few minutes to think back over my month and share a few of the things I’ve learned. (This idea is from both Emily P. Freeman and Modern Mrs. Darcy). 

Here goes:

1. I am incapable of being calm when surprised with good news. (Or . . . I *will* make a goober out of myself when something awesome happens). 

On June 17th, my phone rang and even though I didn’t recognize the number, I answered it. When the voice on the other end of the line said, “This is Casey Herringshaw . . . ” Well, honestly, I don’t exactly know what she said after that because there was only one reason for her to be calling me and I couldn’t quite let myself believe that it was possible until she confirmed she was calling to tell me that Covert Justice was a finalist in the Short Novel category of the Carol Awards. I don’t actually know what I said after that, but there was a lot of laughing (I’m calling it laughing…Casey might call it maniacal giggling). Other that that, it’s pretty much a blur—although that might have been because of my tears of joy. I generally try to act like a professional, but I must say, it was way more fun to enjoy the good news. Which leads me to the next thing I learned…

2. It is REALLY hard to keep good news a secret! I had to wait 10 days before I could tell anyone about the Carol final. It was *killing* me! I wanted to ask my friends if they had finaled (and quite a few of them did!) and I wanted to share it with the world. But I kept my mouth zipped up tight (no small feat for me) and waited not-so-patiently for the announcement on the 27th. 

3. Good news in one area will not fix the rest of your life—or even fix that part of your life. I had one of my most challenging writing weeks – ever –  in the space between finding out about the Carol final and being able to talk about the Carol final. Awards are awesome and fun, but they don’t actually make it any easier to write your stories, and I don’t know of a single one that will do your laundry. (If there is an award that comes with a laundry service, please someone let me know because I want to win that one bad). Life goes on. The plot line that was kicking your rear an hour before you get a “call” will still be making you crazy an hour later. The dishes still need to be done. The bills still have to be paid. People will still cut you off in traffic. It’s a very bizarre thing to be simultaneously joyful and despondent, but it is possible. 

4. I love to read the Psalms in the summer. I run to the Psalms when I am frustrated and frazzled, and summers are challenging for our family. Children who thrive on routine can struggle mightily in the free-wheeling, carefree days of summer, and that makes it hard on this mama. Without being consciously aware of what I was doing, I just turned to Psalm 1 and started reading . . . and realized I’ve done this before. My Bible is marked up in pens, pencils, and all sort of random notations, but there is nowhere that I can remember what I was feeling when I highlighted a particular passage as when I re-read the Psalms. 

5. The best way to wean yourself off caffeine is S-L-O-W-L-Y. I’ve gone cold turkey before and paid the price. In June, I took a slower approach and cut way back on my caffeine. I still had a few migraines, but it wasn’t anything like before. Now, I’m avoiding caffeine in most things except my morning coffee, and even there, I’m drinking less and going with a half-caff approach.  I’ve even skipped it entirely several times with no drama. I sleep better and don’t crash so much in the afternoon, and more importantly, don’t get the jittery feeling I had been experiencing far too often before I made the switch. And speaking of coffee…

6. Some things are worth the calories. I drank my coffee black for a while, but I just didn’t love it the way I had before. And yes, I could give it up entirely I suppose—maybe try to switch to tea—but I’ve decided that some things are worth the calories. I drink my coffee with a splash (or two) of half & half. I enjoy every sip. I sit on my deck with the Psalms and I get my head on straight before I dive into the morning. Life is too short to say “no” to everything under the sun just because it might be a tiny bit better for you. Some things are worth saying “yes” to for the simple reason that they bring delight to your day. Cream in my coffee is one of those things.